You Are Not Your Anxiety.

Coexisting with anxiety a little more graciously

As you may or may not know, May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and mental health is a topic that is very near and dear to my heart. Primarily due to the fact that I have battled anxiety for pretty much my entire life. I’ve also suffered from depressive episodes a few times along my journey, but anxiety seems to be my primary mental health cross to bear.

And at times in the past, people I’ve opened up to, either online or in person, about the fact that I was struggling with anxiety have responded with a glib “God’s got this! Don’t give in to anxiety! Do what you were born to do!” Being real and transparent about my struggles is the thing that God called me to do. You can fully believe that God does indeed have this and still be scared. And still recognize that God has had all situations since the beginning of time, and still bad things have happened. Or maybe you don’t believe in God at all, or you’re not sure what you believe. The point is: In this life, bad things happen. People are lost. Cancer and wars and famine and unrest and earthquakes and tornadoes and pandemics are all still a thing, even though “God’s got this.”

If you are a believer like me, chances are at some point, you’ve been told you’re not “praying hard enough” or “you’re sinning” or “your faith isn’t strong enough,” and that’s why you have anxiety. And to that I say: NONSENSE. God can be holding you in the palm of His hand, and simultaneously you can still have anxiety. Both things can be true at the same time. You are who you are, and it is okay. You feel what you feel, and it is okay. And you do whatever it is you need to do to heal, and it is okay.

I want to share with you a few tools from my tool kit that have helped me manage my own anxiety. These five tips have all been hugely beneficial to me on my path to healing and wholeness. Pick the one or ones that you think will work for you, and feel free to branch out and try other methods to add to this list as well.

1. Staying mindful. It sounds so simple in theory, but getting out of the what if of our heads and back into the what is of our lives can sometimes feel like a game of tug-of-war. One of my favorite exercises for bringing myself back to the present moment is the Five Senses Game. It’s so easy. You pause, take a look at your surroundings, and name five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This very simple process has a way of grounding you back into the present and getting you out of your head, where those racing and anxious thoughts occur.

2. Breathing / progressive muscle relaxation. Take a few moments and focus on your breathing. Place one hand on your belly and take deep breaths from your diaphragm, making an effort to push your hand out when you inhale. After a few deep, cleansing breaths, try some progressive muscle relaxation. You can google this and find very specific instructions on how to do it, but the essence of progressive muscle relaxation is to focus on tensing up and then relaxing various muscle groups. I always start at my feet and work my way up to my head. It takes only about five minutes, but by the time I’m done, I can feel the tension literally melting from my body. Out of my entire anxiety tool kit, I think this one might be most helpful to me.

3. Social media detox. Take a few days or a weekend and completely unplug from your phone, social media, and/or the outside world. People are like computers: Sometimes we just need to breathe and reboot. Hitting the pause button on the constant stream of breaking news and urgent text messages and Facebook updates will do wonders for your soul. Spend that time focusing on the people right in front of you rather than the ones in your phone. After a few hours, you probably won’t miss your virtual world at all.

4. Self-care Saturday or Sunday. One of my favorite ways to practice self-care is to take one day out of the weekend and do nothing but exactly what I want to do. Read a good book. Watch movies in your pj’s all day. Take a walk and get some fresh air. There is nothing more healing and restorative than spending time in nature. Take a hot bubble bath and do a hydrating face mask. Do things that feed your soul, even if what feeds your soul is doing nothing at all. I think you’ll find that sometimes doing nothing is absolutely everything.

5. Meditation. Guided meditation is one of my favorite ways not just to relax but to fall asleep. Often, anxiety can wreak havoc on our sleep cycle. There’s a free app called Insight Timer that has literally thousands of free guided meditations on any and every topic you can imagine. I’m also a huge fan of the Calm app, which isn’t free but is well worth the investment. Meditations range from five minutes to an hour and beyond, so whether you do a quick one in the morning to start your day or a long one at night to unwind, there’s a meditation for every purpose, topic, and schedule.

Anxiety is just one of the many topics I touch on in my new book, Turn Toward the Sun: Releasing What If and Embracing What Is. We cover a LOT of heavy and light in the book. So whether you struggle with anxiety or depression or panic attacks or PTSD or grief or loss or insomnia or some other mental health issue all together, I hope the book will help you learn to embrace every part of who you are, and to boldly turn toward the sun even in your darkest moments. Because here is the really good news: After the night, comes the sun. And the sun has never failed us yet.

There’s also still time to join the Launch Team for the book. I would absolutely LOVE to have you on my team to help me get the word out about this little book of mine. And wouldn’t “Launch Team Member for NY Times Bestselling Author” make a wonderful edition to your resume? ;-) The only condition for joining the Launch Team is to preorder the book. But as a thank you, you’ll get a free early digital copy of the book to read NOW, as well as a free digital copy of my Guide to Letting Go and Moving On, and a signed bookplate for your book. So it’s really a win/win/win. Women supporting women, plus FREE STUFF. Is there anything better? :)

All for now,

Mandy